I've really enjoyed this time, and am excited for the future. I'm proud of what we've done together, especially raising our kids and helping support the early EA movement, and our steady mutual support is something I value enormously.
Pregnancy and birth are very asymmetric, and then breastfeeding continues the pattern: nursing isn't going to be equitable. This means night feedings, more ability to calm the baby, and even just her smelling more familiar to them. While this asymmetry isn't permanent, it pushes you towards starting with an unequal division.
Then with parental leave it's very common for the mother to take more time off work than the father. Many jobs give more leave to birth parents, and someone who has just given birth often needs substantial recovery time. Fathers commonly earn more than mothers and so if leave is unpaid many couples can afford more if the mother takes it than if the father does.
If you're the dad, what can you do? I see two main aspects: sharing the work, and sharing the parenting.
One thing that isn't very clear in a lot of this is what sort of expectations the organizers have for their dancers. Writing about what it means to be "fragrance free" can range from just "no perfume/cologne" to something much more thorough like Think Before you Stink, which includes not using public laundromats and quitting smoking.
On top of this, it's common for organizations to have these policies and then not enforce them. If you advertise an event as fragrance free, include in a linked policy (that most dancers won't read) that, say, dandruff shampoo (as JP does) is not allowed, and then someone shows up having washed their hair in dandruff shampoo, what happens?
People register by filling out a Google Form at which then drops their answers into a spreadsheet. I have the form configured to send me notification emails when people register, and I handle these about once a day.
Here's how things look to me right now:
That's a lot of unconfirmed dancers! Sixteen of them registered in the last week, a few have told me they're not sure yet if they'll be able to make it, but mostly I need to pester them about paying.
Here's the rate at which people have been filling out the registration form. This shows slightly lower numbers than above because when someone registers for multiple people with one form, which I see about twenty cases of) that's still only counted once: