::  Posts  ::  RSS  ::  ◂◂RSS  ::  Contact

One more

February 15th, 2016
kids  [html]
When Lily wants something, she often wants more than I'm ok giving her. Maybe she wants me to sing forever and not put her down in her crib for the night, maybe she wants to keep playing and it's time to go, maybe she wants to keep eating chocolates; I find this comes up a lot. Something that's been useful in these cases is having a little routine around "one more":

A: more sing
B: [sings]
A: more
B: I'm going to do one more song, and then night-night, ok?
A: [sad]
B: One more?
A: yes
B: [sings]
A: more
B: We did one more song, and now it's time to go night-night.

She still asks for more at the end or protests some, but because she had the heads up she's not really expecting me to say yes, and doesn't get that upset when I tell her no.

We started doing this at maybe a year? When she could just say a few words but mostly just cried to indicate that things weren't to her satisfaction. At that point it looked more like:

B: [starts to put A down in the crib]
A: [cries]
B: [picks A back up]
A: [stops crying]
B: Would you like one more?
A: [cries a little]
B: [sings]
B: Time for night night
B: [puts A down again]
A: [cries a little]

Even though she wasn't at talking age yet, she could still learn the pattern around "one more". It communicated that we were nearly done, that we weren't going to have more of the thing if she cried a lot, and that it was time to adjust.

I've been pretty happy with how this has worked out, but n=1 so this may not generalize.

Comment via: google plus, facebook

Recent posts on blogs I like:

Empire State High- and Low-Speed Rail

If Swiss planners were hired to design an intercity rail network for New York State, they might propose something that looks like this: The trip times depicted on the map are a few minutes longer than intended, especially next to a terminus station like N…

via Pedestrian Observations January 27, 2020

Hedonic asymmetries

Creating really good outcomes for humanity seems hard. We get bored. If we don’t get bored, we still don’t like the idea of joy without variety. And joyful experiences only seems good if they are real and meaningful (in some sense we can’t easily pin down…

via The sideways view January 26, 2020

Live the questions now

Here’s some advice that my Godmother, Lynne Caldwell, gave me a few years ago. I found it again the other day and it struck me that at least I understand its wisdom now. She really did get my problem. It feels like he’s speaking directly to me. It’s from …

via Holly Elmore January 23, 2020

more     (via openring)

More Posts:


  ::  Posts  ::  RSS  ::  ◂◂RSS  ::  Contact