Gender Neutral Hugging Convention

May 19th, 2013
hugging
In the US whether you hug or shake hands depends on intimacy. If I'm greeting an old friend we'll hug but if I'm greeting a stranger we'll shake hands. It gets awkward somewhere in between where it's not obvious which is appropriate or where the two people have different ideas about their shared level of intimacy, but that's unavoidable in human interaction.

What I don't like about this system is that it also depends on gender. At the same level of intimacy two women are more likely to hug than a man and a women, who are more likely to hug than two men. If I meet a man and a woman who I know equally well, it can be normal to shake hands with the man but hug the woman.

We should have a convention for deciding whether to hug or shake hands that doesn't depend on gender. How can we get there?

Comment via: google plus, facebook, substack

Recent posts on blogs I like:

Ozy and Vasili Review Lilo and Stitch

Sometimes my seven-year-old, Vasili, wants to see some godawful movie that makes me want to melt my eyeballs out of my head.

via Thing of Things June 27, 2025

Elixir's Last Dance

On May 18th, the contra dance band Elixir had their last gig ever. The dance was packed: there were three hundred people. It was the only dance BIDA has ever done where they sold tickets. People flew from across the country just to hear Elixir play one la…

via Lily Wise's Blog Posts June 5, 2025

Workshop House case study

Lauren Hoffman interviewed me about Workshop House and wrote this post about a community I’m working on building in DC.

via Home April 30, 2025

more     (via openring)