Text Posts from the Kids Group: 2025

Kaufman, Jeff T.

Text Posts from the Kids Group: 2025	February 15th, 2026
	kids, kidsgroup

Another round of liberating kid posts from Facebook. For reference, in 2025 Lily turned 11, Anna turned 9, and Nora turned 3.

(Some of these were from me; some were from Julia. Ones saying "me" could mean either of us. Ones from others are labeled.)

2025-01-12

Anna, about the Whos inviting the Grinch to their Christmas dinner right after he stole all their stuff:

"I think the Whos are pretty forgetful, or naive, or both."

2025-01-12

Onomatopoeia: the sound of a three-year-old yelling "TOO LOUD" in the bathtub to hear it resonate.

2025-01-13

Anna: I'm going to go play with Lily

Julia: How's your homework doing?

Anna: I already finished it

Julia: A minute ago you said you hadn't started it

Anna: Well, I did some?

Julia: Let's check...

Anna: I didn't actually do any of it.

...

It later turned out Anna had left her homework at school

2025-01-18

[out of nowhere]

Nora: what? I like oranges!

Nora: oranges are my favorite fruit

Nora: I love oranges

...

(The [statement] [pause] "what, [justification]" format is one Anna had been using extensively)

2025-01-18

Nora to me after I got home close to bedtime: "I'm happy you're going to put me to bed."

(To Jeff) "You gave up putting me to bed. (Reassuringly) But you're still alive."

2025-01-20

Me: Thanks for making lasagna!

Nora: You're welcome!

Me: Uh, I was talking to Mama, because you didn't make the lasagna

Nora: Ooohh. Sorry Mom!

2025-01-21

Anna: Eeeww! There were caterpillars in my Reese's peanut butter cup!

Me: Uhh, how old was your peanut butter cup?

Anna: I don't know! I don't know if it was the one from Halloween this year, or from when I was four.

(I have a guess)

2025-01-22

Nora, regarding mint chip: "This kind of ice cream is my FRAVORITE. It's so beautiful. The color is so pretty."

2025-01-23

Nora: why do little kids don't have computers?

Julia: because they're expensive, and they break easily

Nora: because of the bendy bit?

2025-01-25

Questions from Nora this week:

Why are our heads all the way at the top?

Why is the ocean so big?

Why do people have a lot of parts?

How do blackberries grow into black?

Is 101 this big? (holds hands apart)

Is this as slow as a sloth moves?

Why does hair grow slowly?

Why Papa doesn't work at our house?

Why is Daniel Tiger doesn't have any cars?

Do animals just sometimes die?

Why do you and Jeff have three kids?

2025-01-26

Nora: I sort of like Mama better than you

Me: I like you a lot

Nora: When you're away, do you miss me?

Me: I miss you lots. Do you miss me?

Nora: I do miss you.

...

Nora: Is your beard back yet?

Me: What do you think?

Nora. I think it is back. You look more normal now.

2025-01-29

Nora: when you're a grown up, do you grow back into a baby?

Julia: no, grownups stay grownups

Nora: whyyyy?

2025-01-29

Julia: "Anna, it looks like someone tampered with this homework break timer to be way more than 5min"

Nora: "I did it!"

2025-01-29

Nora: [improvises a lullaby] "does that feel beddish to you?"

2025-01-29

The big kids have gotten excited about the fact that they call Nora Fluffin, and she loves a TV show called Puffin Rock.

Lily: "Nora! It's crucial! You've got to get on a rock so we can film an award-winning TV show about you on a rock! Fluffin Rock!!"

...

Fluffin Rock: https://youtu.be/HqJCjnFr2oU

2025-02-01

Nora has started telling me at bedtime, "We're in love." Last time I asked, she said it's because we spend a lot of time together.

Tonight: "We're in love. Because I have [fingers to her eyes] eyeshadow."

("Oh?")

"I have blue eyeshadow to be in love."

2025-02-02

So now Nora knows about beheadings.

Me: [singing Horrible Histories' "The King of Bling" while getting Nora ready for bed]

Nora: What is that song about?

Me: It's about Charles the second. The Puritan government didn't want parties and fun, and when he came back to be king he had lots of parties.

Nora: Where did he come back from?

Me: I think from France? His father got killed, so he had to go away so he didn't get killed too.

Nora: Were there lions?

Me: No.

Nora: How did his father get killed?

Me: ...People killed him.

Nora: How?

Me: [increasingly unsure this conversation is a good idea] ...They cut off his head.

Nora: How did they cut off his head?

Me: With an axe, I think.

Nora: Oh, that's a *great* way.

Me: You mean that's a great way of doing it?

Nora: Yeah. Did they cut off his hair, too?

Me: Well, it was attached to his head at the time, so kind of.

2025-02-06

Me: let's do fiddle practice!

Anna: but Dad! [Looks up from craft project] I have homework to finish!

2025-02-06

Anna, after watching a video about the International Space Station: It would be fun to live in space, but also really annoying.

Lily: There are literally a zillion pieces of space dust flying around at a bajillion miles per hour that could literally kill you at any time!

2025-02-08

After a day with lots of socializing, I told Jeff and the kids that Jeff was in charge and I was going to have some introvert time. When the kids eventually burst into the bedroom, Nora announced with satisfaction: "I wanted to stop you havin' quiet time, I wanted to distract you."

...

Jeff is away for the weekend, the kids were happily playing by themselves, and I told them I was going to have 5 minutes of alone time. 30 seconds later Nora was in my room on my lap asking "What is alone time?"

2025-02-09

Me: Did you get back recently, or have you been home for a while?

Nora: I got back recently. By the way, what does recently mean?

2025-02-10

Nora often has questions about space, bodies, and death. Tonight's bedtime involved a whole montage of staying-alive advice:

"Space has no thing in it. Everybody has to breathe. Because if you don't breathe, all your parts can't work. That's why breathing is important to learn! [Interlude for a drink of water]

... When people be old they keep eating food, and then they don't die. So if people start to die, they keep eating food, and then they turn into a normal person and not an old person. [Interlude while I tell her that's not what happens]

You know what? We have to stay alive longer than other people. Because we have a lot of things to do. That's why we have to eat a lot of food. And we have to use our bodies."

2025-02-11

Nora: [looking at a picture in a book] That is not a good idea. You should at least wear a coat or a hat or something.

Me: this is a picture of summer, when you can go outside in just shorts and a t-shirt or a dress.

Nora: you should still wear something more than that so that you do not freeze.

Me: Maybe you don't remember it, but in a few months it will be so warm outside that nobody will need a coat to keep warm!

Nora: Ooohh! That makes more sense.

2025-02-12

Me: Please put that rubber band in the trash so the cats don't eat it. It could make their bellies very sick.

Nora: And they could die?

Me: Yes, and we don't want that.

Nora: [thoughtful pause] I don't like Nyx very much. He scratches me sometimes.

2025-02-12

Nora: I think babies are the lowest person in the world.

2025-02-13

Lily, explaining the school recess rules: "On half the days the boys get to use the turf, and on half the days the girls get to use it. And if you're nonbinary you can do either."

Lily decided to go by she/her again, so I guess her recess options are more limited now.

2025-02-15

Nora: I am getting very strong

Lily: can you pick me up?

Nora: [kicks Lily]

Lily: ow! Kicking is not okay!

Nora: [confused] you asked me to kick you up

2025-02-16

More questions from Nora, a few of them prompted by conversation but mostly out of the blue at bedtime:

Is a finger one of our tubes?

Do people die at different times? But not you and Papa, you will die at the same time

Why is a rock so hard and still?

Why does everyone sleep?

Why is poop sticky and messy?

Why is winter so long?

Is space dark everywhere?

After we're dead do we get alive again?

Do people just sometimes burn theirselves?

Why is Papa the breakfast-maker?

How does water come out of us when we cry?

Are ponies actually real?

Why is the table so flat?

Can hedgehogs also make scary sounds? And happy sounds?

Why do people not steal other people's stuff?

Why do we have eyebrows?

Why do mans don't like coffee?

But why does the hand keep going around the clock?

Where is space?

2025-02-18

Nora: If little kids make a really really big mess, they can ask their grown-ups to come and see and help them clean it up.

2025-02-25

Nora: let's play chase! I will run, and you will try to catch me, and I will try to hit you with this thing. But I will be careful to not hurt you.

2025-03-01

Nora: [Gets down from lunch]

Julia: Did someone say you could be done?

Nora: Yes

Me: Who was it?

Nora: I think I'm right

2025-03-03

Anna, holding a calculator: Ask me a math question!

Nora: How many pears am I holding? I'm pretending I'm holding pears in my hand.

...

Later, Anna: "I don't KNOW how many fives there are in the world!"

2025-03-06

Nora: there was a giant puddle on the bike path, and we got blazing wet!

2025-03-09

Setting up for our EA dinner, Lily is very into counterfactual impact:

Lily: If I hadn't helped you set up for the dinner, would you still have been ready on time?

2025-03-11

Nora: "This is my song: first spring, then fall, then winter, then it starts again! There is no summer in my version."

...

It's always 1816 for Nora

2025-03-15

Nora: "This is a nice house in a nice world"

2025-03-18

Nora: [singing] Q and U, both rhyme. Clock and Pew, ... don't rhyme

2025-03-20

The frontal cortex coming online. Nora was running and stopped in front of this stick. "I was going to pick it up, but you can't run with sticks! That's the rule, Mama."

2025-03-30

Me: "Here's a picture of the queen, back when she was alive."

Nora, flipping the coin over: "And there's the dragon that killed her."

2025-04-02

Nora: [singing] I'm not going to school. I'm not very big yet. I'm three. That's not a very big number; very small number baby. It's a ya ya. Llama llama p'mama. Llama llama p'llama.

2025-04-12

Lily: "Sign here. N-O-R-A."

Me, from downstairs: "Lily, *what* are you having her sign?"

Lily: "The doctor's note. She's the parent of this injured squirrel."

2025-05-01

Nora playing with rhymes: "Let's nurse, and read! And curse, and plead!"

2025-05-10

Nora: when I am a woman, I want to do what my mama does

Me: and what is that?

Nora: I don't know

...

She recently told me that she wants to be a mama when she grows up, and she will still live with us and so there will be two mamas. She said there will be five people in our house: Mama, Papa, Lily, Anna, and Nora. So this apparently involves her being a mama but not having a child.

2025-05-11

Nora: Normally porchfest doesn't look like that. Normally you dance in Muddy River [Morris] suits.

2025-05-11

Nora: Who spilled the milk?

Me: I'm guessing the cats.

Nora: I'm guessing the cats. Stop copying me!

2025-05-16

Nora: [hits Lily with an inflatable sword] now you are a princess!

Lily: I don't want to be a princess, I wanted to stay a witch

Nora: But my sword has *princess* *magic*!

Nora: Poof! Now you are a princess!

Lily: Refusal

2025-05-17

Lily: there is a spider that looks just like an ant!

Julia: if it looks just like an ant, how can you tell it's a spider? How many legs does it have?

Lily: three

2025-05-18

Nora: "I have too much breath in my head, and that makes me laugh a lot!"

2025-05-19

Anna: "Mom, Dad: Lily is being a pretentious hipster"

2025-05-21

[at the school Spring Concert]

Nora: can I go on stage with you?

Lily: ...yes!!!

Nora: No! The teacher will be surprised! No! No! Go away Lily!!

2025-05-27

Julia: You can go outside if you'll stay in the yard.

Julia: Where will you stay?

Nora: Outside!

2025-05-29

Nora's chants this morning:

"I guard the food! I guard the food!"

"I spray the cats! I spray the cats!"

"I will behave! I will behave!"

(The cats love to get on the table and eat human food. Lily needed to get something and asked Nora to guard her food. We use a spray bottle for this. Nora didn't spray the cats or people unnecessarily but Anna was worried she would.)

2025-06-02

Nora: "I'm dead, and then I turned back into life. Like Jesus!"

2025-06-05

Nora: Papa, I ate all the blueberries!

Me: Were they tasty?

Nora: I didn't want anyone else to have any blueberries.

2025-06-06

Nora: [singing] "I'm eating the pesto sauce, with only one spoon! And I'm double dipping, and I'm double dipping"

(This was after a while of a series of fresh spoons. But then it was clear she'd eat the whole bowl, so she's excited to double dip)

2025-06-08

Nora: I wish I was a grown up. I want to be able to do all the things.

Me: What do you most want to be able to do?

Nora: Throw darts. You know, the sharp things?

2025-06-09

Anna: I don't want to use that water bottle. Lily shouts at me whenever I use it.

Lily: It's okay, you can use it

Anna: I'm not allowed to use it

Lily: I'm giving you permission

Anna: Well, I don't want to use it anyway

2025-06-09

Nora: I love you with my heart. But you're not really in my actual heart.

2025-06-13

After a very long charades-ish game:

Us: what *were* you?

Anna: I was pretending to be a baby dinosaur that had no idea how to act like a dinosaur

2025-06-15

"Can I have some watermelon?"

"Not yet, because we're eating dinner in a couple minutes."

"Can I sit in a chair and look at it?"

[I promise she doesn't always have this kind of self-control]

2025-06-16

Nora: The pandemic is the start of our life

Me: The start of *your* life

Nora: No! All of the people's life!

2025-06-19

A (rhetorical) question from the second day of summer break: if your sibling says "I'll bite you" and you reply "Bite me then" and she bites you, is it reasonable to get an adult to put her in time out for biting?

2025-06-20

Lily set up a pretend grocery store for Nora to shop at, with a paper grocery store card made by Lily.

After a while I asked, "Nora, did you buy some groceries?"

Lily: "No, she failed to buy groceries because her grocery card was invalid."

2025-06-25

Nora: "I'm just gonna betend that I have a watch that tells me I need to jump for 40 minutes"

2025-06-29

Me: I don't think this is a good place for a stick: someone could lean back and get hurt on it.

Lily: Daaaad, it's a *spear* not a *stick*.

Me: That doesn't make it better!

2025-07-02

Anna: Nora says there are emeralds in our house. Are there?

Me: Not that I know of.

Anna: She says there are eight billion million emeralds in our house.

Me: .... Nora, do you mean molecules?

Nora: Yeah

2025-07-10

Nora has been making up a lot of games at the park, but the names don't correlate much with the game. There's one called "jump around, jump around, in a circle, in a circle" which involves her pretending to be a baby monkey and trying to get a ball away from me. There's one called "rumble around" which involves me trying to tickle her armpit while she runs away.

...

I like that she wants to play catch. She runs away and I try to catch her.

2025-07-11

Nora, riding her scooter: Some babies are very attacky.

Me: What do you mean by that?

Nora: They wiggle around when they nurse, and they hurt their mamas, and their mama says stop but they don't stop.

Me: That's true.

2025-07-11

Nora: Mama, where is my vitayum?

Julia: If I get a vitamin for you, will you eat it?

Nora: No.

2025-07-16

"Nora, why are you chasing Cameron with corn?"

2025-07-23

Nora: Ruthie, can I have some beer please?

(Our housemate was having the non alcoholic kind)

2025-08-01

Nora questions lately:

But why do we wear pants on top of our underwear?

Did people make the world?

Why are ants in the world?

When will we die?

Are there two kinds of sewer?

2025-08-01

The last ten minutes have consisted of Lily and Anna arguing whether Anna is allowed to bring a plastic hot dog into their play tent. Lily says only lacto-vegetarian pretend food is allowed.

2025-08-01

When Anna is grumpy she tends to say obviously false things. "It's not supposed to be cold in summer, it is supposed to be a low of 85 and a high of 107 every day!"

2025-08-03

Lily: it's really annoying that you keep asking Claude for recipes instead of using Google like in the olden days

Anna: in the olden days you'd have to learn it from your parents

Julia: why is it annoying?

Lily: because it's going to take over the universe!

2025-08-04

Nora: dad, one billion million quadrillion is bigger than four.

2025-08-05

Nora: Mama, I want two questions

Julia: Ok

Nora: The first one is about desert. I want some banana mixed with chocolate sauce, and some plain banana.

Julia: I can do that, but before dessert you need your medicine

Nora: I will drink hot chocolate

Julia: That's what you have already

Nora: But I just want plain hot chocolate

Julia: How would you like this to be different?

Nora: I don't want it to have my medicine

Julia: You need to have your medicine

Nora: Ok, I will drink my hot chocolate with my medicine if you will tell me a story

2025-08-06

Nora: Daddy, I will follow you wherever you go. But I will not follow you into the driver's seat.

2025-08-13

Nora similes:

"I'll go as fast as a moose drinking milk!"

"When I was a baby, was I as cute as a ginormous train that looks like a monster?"

"That's funnier than a bus driving a car"

"It's prettier than a swirling purple"

2025-08-23

Lily: can I pour boiling water through my shirt without taking it off?

(This was a real question, answer was no. And an explanation of why this would be a bad idea.)

2025-08-24

Nora: One time, I told my mom that I thought night was day! Can you put that in the Nora, Lily, and Anna group? It's just so funny!

2025-08-25

Nora: I'm glad I was born. I was wondering what it would be like, so I decided to be born. I like it a lot! There are lots of parks, and lakes!

2025-08-29

Nora's self talk, balancing on rocks:

"When you get to a wobbly part, just hold still and use your balance."

"No fear...No beer."

2025-08-30

Me: Nora, did you put wood chips or something in your hair?

Nora: [condescendingly] No! I put *sand* in my hair.

2025-08-31

Lily: would you like to come and busk with us?

Anna: well, I don't like playing fiddle, but I do like getting money...

2025-09-02

Etiquette rules from Jeff about interruptions: "If someone is licking your arm, you're allowed to say, 'Stop licking my arm,' even if someone else is talking."

2025-09-04

Nora: they wouldn't let Nix [our cat] into the swimming pool because: (1) he might not take a shower, (2) he doesn't know how to swim, and (3) he can't open doors.

2025-09-04

[Coming out from my meeting after hearing a lot of crying]

Nora: [Redacted] did a lot of crying!

[Redacted] I did not do a little crying!!

Nora: I said a *lot* of crying, not a *little*

2025-09-13

I taught Nora how to hold her sleeve in her fist when putting on a coat so that she wouldn't end up with her sleeve all bunched up. She is super excited. Except she keeps forgetting and using the opposite hand, and then being confused why the coat won't go on.

2025-09-29

Nora: [out of nowhere] I'm fine!

2025-09-30

Lily: I am only a "child" when it's convenient for me

2025-10-02

Nora: [during turbulence] when I'm squeaking like this, it either means I'm sad or I'm happy. In this case it means I'm happy!

2025-10-13

Lily: Nora, first bump!

Nora: [punches Lily in the fist]

2025-10-14

Me: what's this?

Anna: that's been there for weeks!

...

Anna: but, yes, I did do it

2025-10-15

Anna: [in 4th at a k-5 school] Unfortunately I have to be the older book buddy *again*

2025-10-15

Nora: I wish I was a grownup.

Me: What would you like about being a grownup?

Nora: I could do things you don't let me do. Like drill.

2025-10-17

Anna: I got this trophy in school for being quiet.

Jeff: So if you don't speak, you get atrophy.

2025-10-18

Nora fell on the stairs today but wasn't badly hurt. Afterwards we were discussing that it could have been much worse.

Nora, reassuringly: "My heart is still pumping, and my blood is moving around. So I'm ok." These are indeed great qualities.

2025-10-26

Nora got mad and spilled all the crayons out. Afterwards: "Sorry for making a big mess. ...But it's not as big a mess as if a monster messed up all our stuff and our house, and we had to rebuild our whole house."

2025-10-29

[discussing a new childcare provider]

Nora: is she very nice?

Julia: yes

Nora: will she kill me?

(She had a grin on her face like she knew she was asking a provocative question)

2025-10-29

Nora: "I stole this horse."

Me: "Where did you steal it from?"

Nora: "South America.

....Actually I didn't steal it, I just wore a stealing costume"

2025-10-29

[looking at BIDA's Far-UVC setup]

Nora: Will all the people be, like, "what is that thing!?"

Nora: Will that keep the people from getting sick?

2025-10-31

Me: I finished my Halloween costume!

Nora: that doesn't really look good.

2025-11-03

Anna: [counting bites as she eats a slice of pizza] 302, 303, 304. I'm going to stop counting and just eat the pizza.

Cora: Good idea!

Anna: Well, I'll still count, but it will be in my head.

2025-11-07

[driving through the southwest]

Lily: Papa, do people normally say "wow" this much?

2025-11-14

Nora: this lollipop is too sweet and tastes weird

Me: if you don't like it, you have plenty of other candy and can pick something else

Nora: it tastes like Cocomelon

Me: Do you mean watermelon?

Nora: No, I mean Cocomelon.

2024-11-16

Me: If you could make a wish in a wishing well, what would it be?

Nora: A million kitties and a million puppies.

Nora: And a house made of blueberries and full of blueberries so we could eat the house.

2025-11-20

Lily: I ran so fast to get home that I slipped

Nora: I'm glad you're still alive!

2025-11-23

Nora: "I say 'grocamole' because it's too hard to say 'guacamole' so I just say 'grocamole'"

...

Nora: "This is a little too not salty"

2025-11-25

Anna: Nora, I think you would be warmer if you zipped up your sweatshirt

Nora: but I'm *already* warm! But I'm still cold.

....

Now Anna is explaining the concept of warmth to Nora

...

Nora: [sings] I'm not cold, I'm just pretending, why don't you just ***dance***

2025-12-05

Anna: I had a raspberry from the bush when I got home from school, and it tasted like a *frozen* raspberry!

Me: have you looked at the thermometer?

Anna: 😳

2025-12-05

Nora: I'm a very good rememberer. Sometimes I even remember things that didn't happen!

2025-12-11

The first rule of the Advent calendar is: you don't complain about the Advent calendar to me. Today I learned that this rule doesn't prevent Anna from complaining about the Advent calendar to her sisters, who pass it on to me.

Nora: "Anna says, what is the point of Christmas bandaids if it's not a toy?"

2025-12-12