{"items": [{"author": "Danner", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630667854442", "anchor": "fb-630667854442", "service": "fb", "text": "Perhaps you're choosing the wrong dances, or worried about things you don't have the ability to change. (I realize those state opposite theories)
I admit, the fun I have calling is mostly vicarious through the dancers, or grooving out to the band. But it's work right? You're getting paid? How much is your fun worth?", "timestamp": "1381150167"}, {"author": "Aleksandra", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630668433282", "anchor": "fb-630668433282", "service": "fb", "text": "I'd be curious to hear whether other callers (who are very experienced) like Bob or Seth Tepfer also feel like their enjoyment of calling is lowered slightly by worrying about the 'trouble spots.' I've heard many experienced callers who do look out for trouble spots describe calling as enjoyable and not as stressful, so I'd want to compare their experiences to yours.", "timestamp": "1381151018"}, {"author": "Todd", "source_link": "https://plus.google.com/112947709146257842066", "anchor": "gp-1381152900457", "service": "gp", "text": "In terms of bringing beginners along, perhaps you are putting too much responsibility on yourself, vs. what the experienced dancers should be doing? I've danced infrequently enough that I'm always an inept beginner, and my sense of it was always that I was looking to other dancers for help, not the caller. And I usually did get that help. I don't know if I was thinking about it this way, but I doubt I'd have wanted the caller to sacrifice fun for everyone else just for my sake (it would depend on the experienced/beginner ration of course).", "timestamp": 1381152900}, {"author": "Theresa", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630673747632", "anchor": "fb-630673747632", "service": "fb", "text": "My positive comment would be to get a mentor.", "timestamp": "1381154465"}, {"author": "Dave", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630674296532", "anchor": "fb-630674296532", "service": "fb", "text": "I feel similar stressful issues - about trouble spots, about calling the right dances, etc... but it is important to focus on those issues to make a satisfying dance. The fun is often what happens between the stress, when things are going well. Sometimes, I find that the most fun I have at a dance are at the ones that start out very stressful - when the new dancers catch on and, one time through a dance, you see a beginner doing a move even better than the expert next to them.", "timestamp": "1381154908"}, {"author": "Perry", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630674835452", "anchor": "fb-630674835452", "service": "fb", "text": "I have had stressful evenings at contra dances, but I'm one of those few people who have as much fun calling as I do dancing. For those really stressful times, when lines break down, that can get to you and you have to find ways to manage things, and on the fly sometimes. But sometimes you have to find ways to manage your own stress too. If you see a localized trouble spot, sometimes that just works itself out as it goes down the line. There will always be trouble spots, and sometimes you have to ask yourself - how much can you do to get people going to right or do you allow the dancers to sink or swim on their own? I like to focus on the joy the dancers are experiencing, and in turn that brings me joy, that I was able to do my part to bring it to them.", "timestamp": "1381155426"}, {"author": "Satvik", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630675718682", "anchor": "fb-630675718682", "service": "fb", "text": "Do you feel like this when programming? If not, what's the fundamental difference?", "timestamp": "1381156275"}, {"author": "Jeff Kaufman", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630676921272", "anchor": "fb-630676921272", "service": "fb", "text": "@Satvik: I don't feel like this when programming, or more similarly when playing music for dances. I'm not sure what the fundamental difference comes down to. It might be that I have a strong sense of letting people down when I call imperfectly, combined with some amount of dancer confusion being unavoidable.", "timestamp": "1381157153"}, {"author": "Jeff Kaufman", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630677001112", "anchor": "fb-630677001112", "service": "fb", "text": "@Danner \"It's work right? You're getting paid?\"
Well yes, but that's also true for playing for dances or running sound, both of which I don't find similarly stressful.", "timestamp": "1381157210"}, {"author": "Bronwyn", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630677530052", "anchor": "fb-630677530052", "service": "fb", "text": "I like dancing because it's relaxing and social and fun. I like calling because it's a challenge and I get a big sense of accomplishment when things go well. For me, that sense of accomplishment and the challenge of improving are addictive. I wouldn't say it's not fun, but it's not relaxing. Its a very different sort of reward.
I assume you don't feel the same way about playing for dances? Do you think that's due to experience and confidence? Are mistakes less immediately and directly apparent? Shared responsibility instead of individual?", "timestamp": "1381157641"}, {"author": "Perry", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630677545022", "anchor": "fb-630677545022", "service": "fb", "text": "There is indeed a lot of pressure a caller can put on oneself. Although dancers do mainly go to dances to dance to the band and not the caller, it is indeed the skills of the caller than make a dance sink or swim no matter how awesome the band is. And I'm not sure that if bands make a mistake that dancers notice, but if callers make a mistake everyone notices. So this stress is indeed understandable - and why it's less stressful to be a musician than a caller. Even if the band gets kind of off and changes tunes too quickly so that you're a phrase off, it's up to the caller to get things right.", "timestamp": "1381157646"}, {"author": "Bronwyn", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630677604902", "anchor": "fb-630677604902", "service": "fb", "text": "Hrm, I guess you just mentioned the music thing.", "timestamp": "1381157683"}, {"author": "Phillip", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630678513082", "anchor": "fb-630678513082", "service": "fb", "text": "I suspect music and programming are very similar in this respect: the mistake spotting is more internal (the feedback is more from you than from any audience). In music you have self corrected enough in practice that the kind of mistakes that will get audience reaction just don't happen. I remember once recently when a band screwed up and it though people off, but that might be the only time in 30 years of dancing (and no you were not involved). I suspect that you also tend to have a great deal of empathy, which leads to a larger than normal pain reaction. While I regret your pain, but it stems from a part of you that I think most of value highly.", "timestamp": "1381158459"}, {"author": "Daniel", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630679735632", "anchor": "fb-630679735632", "service": "fb", "text": "I disagree with your idea that a caller who is not stressed out by calling is necessarily doing a poorer job. Sure, there are callers who aren't as good as others, and stress may be one factor among many involved in this, but I think a caller who enjoys calling can be just as good as one who doesn't. The dancers will invite the best callers to return the most often, so a caller who doesn't do as good a job ought to get less work. I don't think we need to try to crowd them out with better callers, even if they're not enjoying their work.
I know you have a very strong impulse to give back to the community, and to value that above your own personal needs and wants. However, you are also an excellent musician and sound person. Calling is not the only, nor necessarily the best, way for you to give back to the community. If you can give just as much to the community by running sound or playing music as by calling, but take less away from yourself in the process, doesn't this sound like a good situation for all involved? Why not do these things more, in place of calling?
I enjoy your calling, but I also enjoy the calling of many others who, I hope, enjoy what they are doing as well. I suggest valuing yourself a little higher by not pushing yourself to do the things you don't enjoy, the ones that drain you. (I know, of course, that we sometimes have to do things we don't enjoy, but it seems like you have better options in this particular case.) Give back in ways that are good for everyone, including you.", "timestamp": "1381159348"}, {"author": "Perry", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630680289522", "anchor": "fb-630680289522", "service": "fb", "text": "I think that the key is to not internalize it so much when the dancers don't get it. I know that there was this one dance I was doing the dancers just were not getting it, and when that dance ended, the break came and I went outside to calm myself down because I was REALLY stressed and needed to calm down so I could do the second half. After that moment I started to control my own feelings about internalizing mistakes dancers make. It's not that callers ignore it and it's not that it's painful for them. I have been to a number of dances where some of the top callers were calling and mistakes were still made. It would be good to know how they internalize this.", "timestamp": "1381159727"}, {"author": "Susan", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630681282532", "anchor": "fb-630681282532", "service": "fb", "text": "I liked the comment about the responsibility of the experienced dancers the best: contra is a community of dancers, and we are responsible for making it work for everyone. If the walkthrough works, then the dancers ought to be able to keep the dance going, with occasional, well-timed prompts from the caller. I love to see callers active in sorting out beginners, separating clumps of beginners, and rearranging sets so that the experienced dancers are interspersed among the beginners, all before the dance begins.", "timestamp": "1381160384"}, {"author": "Paul", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630683987112", "anchor": "fb-630683987112", "service": "fb", "text": "Maybe it doesn't need to be said, but I'll say it anyway: Thank you, Jeff and Dave for calling. Our dances are much richer and more enjoyable for the work you put into each dance event.", "timestamp": "1381162302"}, {"author": "Bob", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630689096872", "anchor": "fb-630689096872", "service": "fb", "text": "Aleksandra Taranov: Sure, I get stressed sometimes while calling, but I do everything I can to make sure it doesn't show in my voice. Once that happens, dancers will pick up on it and get tense themselves, and will not be as receptive to learning. But if I keep my cool, so will the dancers.
Trouble spots in dances should be anticipated ahead of time with carefully prepared walkthroughs and by occasional use of helpful leading patter calls. Trouble spots on the floor can be avoided by good dance selection, and keeping an eye which dancers need help and coming back in with calls if needed. But even after all that, it may still go smoothly. Then it's time to remind myself - it's just a dance.", "timestamp": "1381165473"}, {"author": "Kelly", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630713732502", "anchor": "fb-630713732502", "service": "fb", "text": "is there perhaps a scheme that can utilize two callers in parallel? that way, some of the responsibility is divided and not all the pressure falls on you. I can imagine this might be difficult to actually set up and maintain, but I also imagine scheme that might naively work. there are similar cooperative parallel talking things, like event commentary that seem to work, but indeed are more spontaneous.", "timestamp": "1381179219"}, {"author": "Yoyo", "source_link": "https://plus.google.com/112374925965540306459", "anchor": "gp-1381208259256", "service": "gp", "text": "I find calling can be stressful, although there are ways to mitigate that. But unpleasant? Only when things are going so badly that I'm sure I've chosen a dance that's too hard or taught it poorly. Paying attention to the dancers is critical, but it's not mutually exclusive with having a good time.\n
\n
\nSome part of it is a gratifying feeling in helping people remember where to go and making it a fun experience for them. That's enjoyable for the caller, yet it still puts the dancers first. Some part of it is letting go, realizing that sometimes there's nothing you can do except wait for confused pairs of couples to move on to new neighbors. Even though how things go is the caller's responsibility, the experienced dancers are (usually) helping every step of the way. Some part of it is just about performing well.", "timestamp": 1381208259}, {"author": "Paul", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=630927149812", "anchor": "fb-630927149812", "service": "fb", "text": "It might help to think of calling as a design problem. You don't get to design a dance (unless you do), but you, as caller, do get to design the walk-through, as Bob notes, and you get to design the hints you call as the dance proceeds. Like so many skills in life, calling takes practice and dealing with mistakes. Your conscientious approach will steadily and eventually make you a better caller, to the benefit of the community. If, deep down, you really love calling, then persevere! (If, on the other hand, as Daniel R. suggests, you don't truly love it, then maybe let it go.)", "timestamp": "1381337367"}, {"author": "Samuel", "source_link": "https://www.facebook.com/jefftk/posts/630667420312?comment_id=649759315002", "anchor": "fb-649759315002", "service": "fb", "text": "Have you gotten specific feedback about how the floor/dancers are feeling when you're feeling stressed? If you keep smiling and keep control of your voice, they may not notice as much. I've certainly experienced this stress. I have found my stress much lower when I've given up on trying to tune the program on the fly and instead just trusted my advance programming - that leaves me free to focus on the floor and, once they get it, I can relax for a moment before the next walk-through. And, perhaps more important, I don't have to take my focus off the floor, the way I do if I'm focused on the next dance - I can stay with them to fix any horrible breakdowns. I've also found it helpful to be more prepared. The better I know the dances and the less I need to refer to my cards, the more I can focus on what will help the dancers in the moment.", "timestamp": "1393251443"}]}